What the Bleep?!

It was just a normal night. Kennedy was just put to sleep in her crib, I was cleaning up the kitchen, and Adam was washing the boys and getting them ready for bed. There was the normal giggling, although the boys seemed to be a little rowdier than usual. I heard Adam's occasional parental raising of the voice- "Calm down. That's enough boys." No big deal.

But then, I heard that real disappointed yell. That hearty, deep chested, baritone kind of yell. Followed by a genuine sob from our five year old.

I hurried upstairs to see what had happened. Maddox had knocked out Everett's tooth. Yep. The night before his 3rd birthday party. Cue thoughts of adorable birthday photos replaced by images of a child much too young to be missing his front tooth.

I admit it. I lost it. Big time. I have been under a lot of stress (aren't we all?) and I let the profanities fly. I am just not much of a curser. I think all the years in the classroom had kind of trained me to watch my mouth. But not tonight. Tonight my profanity flag was flying strong.

The look on Maddox's face. "I'm sorry, Mom. I'm sorry!"

I was unforgiving. "You knocked your brother's tooth out!" I yelled. "The night before his birthday party! I am so mad at you, Maddox!"

I continued to tuck both boys in with a quick, cold kiss on Maddox's forehead as I turned off his light and shut his door a little too loud. Part of me was acting. I felt the need to make it crystal clear to him that when Dad says to stop and settle down, he's got to listen.

So, why does my 3 year old have a missing baby tooth anyways? We had been seeing the dentist for a 6 month period after I had noticed a red dot in the center of Everett's tooth. X-rays didn't show any root damage or decay, but it appeared to be a bleeding nerve. Months later it abscessed and became painful, so we had to make the choice to remove the tooth or try and save it by having a root canal with a cap. We decided on the latter after we were told that the top tooth doesn't typically fall out naturally until around 8 years old, so that was going to be a long time with a toothless grin. So, we decided for the root canal and a cap. It was an expensive procedure and this was the third time the fake tooth had come out since December. That's why I was so upset. We were going to have to try this yet again.

Everett's mysterious bleed-out

But, I couldn't stop thinking about what I said to Maddox. The curse words were completely uncalled for. I had lost my cool. And it wasn't ok.

Two days after the incident, I decided I needed to talk to Maddox about how I acted that night.  Maddox was coloring and I asked him to come over when he was done. He immediately put down his crayons and ran into my lap.

"Maddox, I just wanted to apologize for how I acted the other night. Cursing at you is never ok and I should have never used those bad words. I know I scared you and I'm so sorry. (Insert image of  tears streaming down my face.)

Maddox wiped away my tears. "It's ok, Mom."

What a sweet kid. He never ceases to amaze me.

Holy learning experience. First of all, I think we all have memories of a time when a parent lost her/his cool. It left an impression. Perhaps a really bad memory. And, as parents, we have to be careful. I really don't want my child to one day remind me of a time that I did horrible xyz.

So, it's not just the bad words I used, but the cocktail of scary language and delivery. I know I am forgiven, but my biggest learning experience is: stop, breathe, and count to ten. It really wasn't that big of a deal that he lost his tooth and I think I would have seen that if I had just sloooooowed down.

So, Everett's birthday party ended up being a lot of fun, even though Everett was a little toothless wonder. We are going to have the cap put back in tomorrow (thank God he didn't swallow it) and we will see how long it can stay in this time. It might just end up that we just let it go and let him rock the gap for years to come. We shall see.

Until we chat again,

Jen

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